Can you sense his heart pumping...?!

Cheetah - Marnus Harnas

Cheetah Pics - Marnus 2009

'Cause I feel like doing it!

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less grey hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.


I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.


I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.


So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it)!

Mom's the word

This pic taken in Knysna in our Cafe 1990 down at the Waterfront [Choo-Choo train] location.

Marnus DAILY helped himself and his school buddies to freshly baked pastries and 'burgers.  But to actually work as a waiter is against his 'principles', he says.  Just as well.  He never takes crap [but gives it generously!].  Just imagine him having to have a difficult client who gives him a mouthful.. .. we would have had many court cases if sonny boy had to be in charge.  Rebert is people-friendly and can hold his cool!

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fuelled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become. At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.' As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Friends Forever!

Rina and Romeo Contardo

Rina and myself have been friends from primary school - 45 years!  My mom was a teacher at the same school, Riviera Primary - both of us were taught by a strict mom teacher who also banned us from her class and/or choir practice a few times for various reasons [giggling/talking/pitch up 2 min. late]! 

From primary school we attended HF Verwoerd High and were known as the 'trouble makers' for 5 years!  On hindsight I think we had too much new ideas and were very too forward with lots to say about various stuff. We called it originality. Teachers those days called it bad behaviour. Kids were expected to be seen and not heard.

We tend to disagree [loudly] if we don't feel a kid has been done an injustice and were very quick to point this out to the teachers. Nothing wrong with this... these days the schools would say we whave such initiative and eager to have us since we have a mind of our own and this means leadership!

Both our kids - 2 kids each - Angelo, Ivona/Rebert, Marnus] are such a blessing to people and knew discipline and love since birth and were also encouraged to give their opinion. Regarding rearing a child, we have a lot to learn from the US where the kids are encouraged to speak their mind and say if they differ and have new ideas to offer - the difference in school education and behaviour in the US vs SA is obvious on all the live competition TV shows.  The US has such an easiness when addressing judges and thousands seated in the auditorium [well, most of them anyway].

Our kids in SA are still the  'jammer oom, jammer tannie' and 'skuus oom en tannie' - BUT their good behaviour is one of the reasons our children from SA were so welcome in the UK to do meagre jobs with long hours and without complaining - how the UK can even think of employing their own youngsters currently on government support for so many years is beyond me.   I mean, will you go and work for a lousy few pounds a month but 'earn' more staying at home and cashing in on the government? This is the reason the UK stopped our kids from going their on working visas.  All of a sudden they found the 'pap en slap' UK youngsters [most being moms and dads at age 16yrs...] are costing the government a fortune...

Anyway, Rudy and Romeo met when Rina and myself became their girlfriends and from there on it was like an elastic band that won't break and stretched all these years without a hicup! Rina and Romeo lives in the Cape now [Somerset West], but when we see one another [too little!] we catch up where we left off.  Luckily for the internet. And, best of all, Romeo is also an electrical contractor - the men have a lot in common and can understand the other's business problems, stress and difficult clients!  And Rina and me can 'amen and amen' on all the issues of working for your husband and being a part of the marital and business team. The pro's and cons!

Nevertheless:  some of one's friends are 'thicker than blood' BUT with Rina and Romeo we family ties in the Lord Jesus, who gave His blood on the cross. And His blood is unbreakable, outrangking any family blood!

We love you lots and lots... like jellytots.

Brenda.

Men can fix anything - Really? Yes! Anything? Yip

Some men fix broken stuff and others destroy the item they tried to fix... are you married to a fixer or fix-it - at all cost ?!.

I'm married to a fixer - how do I know this? The item is recognisable after being fixed!

Marnus and his cat pal

Pic taken at Harnas, Gobabis [Namibia] > Harnas Rehabilitation Project

Hungry, dear?

Where do they get the money to eat this much in a recession climate? Can you imagine their grocery bills?  Do they eat 'trolley for trolley'? And what does one answer if she asks you 'am I fat'?  You say 'no dear, you're just big boned ...nothing you can do about it - it's heridatory'!  It's in your 'jeans'. Nee, sies man!  It's a real disgrace and to show your face...

Do-A-Deer-A-Female-Deer... Weighing 1 lb.

This lady is raised in a rehabilitation centre in the USA after her mom was killed by a car. Even the staff at the centre did not believe she could make it! Weighing only 1 lb. made things so much more  difficult. 

Dr. with no-nonsense attitude

I have an attached email with .pdf file that is doing the rounds. 

Dr Resha Maharaj from KwaZulu Natal puts in writing [on his prescription pad] that the 'patient' Kabelo Modise comes to him EVERY Monday requesting sick leave because of an ungoing headache problem.... The dr. says on the note that Mr Modise is intoxicated with alcohol EVERY time and thus not worthy of sick leave and not suffering from any ailment!

Maybe this is a joke, but the practice nr., address of surgery, etc. is printed on the form - we all know what the typical prescription pad doctors use look like [to scribble a sick leave note or prescription for chemist]!  

Haiti Miracles

Rescued (Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times / January 26, 2010)

U.S. Army Spc. Nelson Whitney of the 82nd Airborne Division assists a severely dehydrated man who was pulled out of the rubble of a collapsed building in downtown Port-au-Prince. It is unknown whether he had been trapped for two weeks or much longer since the original earthquake.


A woman who had been trapped under rubble for nearly a month in a collapsed building in Port-au-Prince was brought to the new YWAM medical centre here in St Marc. She had x-rays taken at the local hospital, which indicated that she had a fractured pelvis. She was lying on the floor in the medical centre on a sheet (as there are no beds or chairs available yet for the patients) when she began enquiring of three children. She told staff that when she was trapped in the rubble, she had said to God that she would give her life to Jesus if she was allowed to survive. God had then given her a vision of three children who would pray with her, and if she repented of her sins and gave her life to Christ, then she would be healed. Well, when she descibed the three children - whom she had never met - they turned out to be Terry Snow's three children. Terry Snow is the national and YWAM base director for Haiti. The children were asked to visit the woman and her eyes lit up when she saw them. They prayed for her, and she did repent and give her life to Jesus!! Praise God! She said that she had experienced great resistance from Satan not to give up voodoo while she was praying. The woman immediately felt better and got up to walk around - slowly at first - then started dancing as she realised that her pain had gone! At first, the doctors didn't believe it, but there was no denying it; the woman was up and dancing without pain. The women were crying and the men were deeply moved (and trying not to cry in public!). God is working miracles here everyday!

Gisternag het die Sweedse reddingspan wat saam met ons ouens werk, 'n man wat rys gekoop het in die mark die middag van die aardbewing, uit die rommel gehaal. LEWENDIG. Hy was 'n maand lank begrawe! Hy was deurmekaar, totaal gedehidreerd en al die ander dinge wat met so iets gepaard gaan. Toe hy weer dinge begin verstaan en meer duidelik kon praat - na 'n paar uur noodhulp - het hy die heeltyd geprewel: "Waar is die man met die wit klere wat elke dag vir my water gebring het?"


Crystal

I can talk the talk and walk the walk with black men like these - BRILLIANT

This is ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!! Please take time out of your busy schedules to read this. This wonderful man has a hell of a lot of guts and should be applauded! He deserves a standing ovation, as he’s just voices MOST PEOPLE’s concerns and had the guts to post it on FACEBOOK! Write him a letter of encouragement and give him thumbs up! Let’s salute him – I believe the MORE we encourage him – reply on Facebook or forward this same email to the president with YOUR own photo [which I did!] and signature on the botom, the more Zuma has to take notice and be ashamed… if it’s possible for him to feel shame. Who knows, he might get some perspective.

Sefu Sekgala 01 February at 15:20 Reply

Dear Mr President Jacob Zuma

After having read the front page story of the Sunday Times (31/01/2010), I feel compelled to write to you as this ordinary citizen that I am. Because I am a commoner, my judgement of your actions could be regarded as disrespect. Equally you might be indulging in all these sordid acts because you feel that you cannot be questioned and brought to book.

As a young man I have an interest in the way in which those in power are behaving, so as to ensure that we have good, moral and ethical leaders to look upon. A public figure who does not inspire confidence or does not conduct themselves in a manner that seek to inspire development of society, should be eliminated from the limelight and sent into the deepest of corners so that their misleading acts are shunned. To me you happen to be such an individual.

n your address during your inauguration and also in your first State of the Nation address, you emphasised greatly on moral regeneration. The reason why religion has seemingly failed to produce members that embody the values taught in religious institutions is because the preachers themselves are failing to be upright leaders who live out what they preach. You are such a preacher to me.

Given your past record that displays you as a man who is easily tempted by indulging in sexual intercourse, it is very difficult for me to throw water over the claims made by the Sunday Times. To me it is irrelevant that the person you impregnated is the daughter of Dr Irvin "The Iron Duke" Khoza, I would still feel the same way even if it was just yet another woman. If this baby was born under normal circumstances, it means that you must have slept with this lady around January 2009. During the same time you had already paid Lobola for Thobeka Madiba-Zuma and you were planning your wedding day with her. At the same time you were already having the pleasure of being attended to by two wives. I suppose given that you were busy campaigning for the 2009 General Elections, the challenges that you faced couldn't be accommodated by your wives, you needed to find solace and release your masculine energy on another woman outside wedlock.


What nauseates me the most is the fact that this lady got pregnant, meaning you had unprotected sex yet again. To me it is clear that you have unprotected sex with your wives, because you do it so easily with "omakhwapheni". It means you are a risk to your wives, because you seem to be fishing for HIV, so that you can take the catch home and distribute it evenly amongst them. Unless there is preventive medication for HIV that you have and we the ordinary people do not have access to.



The Zulu Kingdom should be ashamed at how you have paraded their culture of polygamy, a culture that is in fact to me very demeaning of women. To me it symbolises true qualities of chauvinism and patriarchy, whereby if a man is not satisfied with one woman, then they can go get another. Meanwhile society would vilify a woman who would take a second man. Polygamy also promotes cheating on your wife, because you must first know the second wife, well in your case sixth, intimately on stolen moments away from your wife. So during that time you are lying to your wife or wives claiming to be seeing no one besides them and even to God, whom you made such a pact with when getting married.



Polygamy reduces women to objects that are used to just satisfy the egos of many men out there, who see having many women as a sense of superiority and achievement. To me this is a very small minded sense of thinking.



I cannot have you preach morality to me when you partake in such disgusting acts that make me feel if only I was not a South African. When a sex scandal broke off about Mr Bill Clinton, he had to step down as President of the USA. The President of the World Bank stepped down after such allegations were tabled against him. However to you it is just yet another day another dollar and nothing will happen, because you are hiding behind tradition and using it to camouflage your helpless sexuality.



You are a man who does not respect women clearly, a man who does not believe in treating your wives with the best respect they deserve. I doubt maKhumalo is happily married to you, but she is probably fearful of what shall become of her if she were to leave you. It is unfortunate that the majority of the people in your organisation find your acts acceptable; it goes to show how the morals of the ANC have become fragmented over the years.



You occupy the highest seat in our land and many people will find a way of using your acts to justify their mistakes and atrocious behaviours which resemble yours. You are not a beacon of hope to me, but rather that one of disaster.



It is impossible that you could raise all your 20 children, so it means that you promote unstructured families whereby kids grow up with single parents. You promote and justify cheating. You promote for society to discredit the three pillars of fighting HIV, because you do not Abstain, you do not get to Be Faithful, you do not Condomize.



What are you good for? Absolutely nothing. You are shaming our country and making it seem as if we are unable to be led by principled leaders.



You are a health risk to your wives, you are a financial risk to the taxpayers who must pay for your opulence and you still pledge your support to communists.



I ask of you to step down as President, before you turn South Africa into a quagmire that resembles your sexual life and its animalistic behaviours.



Written by: Lukhona Mnguni

COPE and COPESM member, in his personal capacity

killpovertysa@yahoo.com